Had a great chat with my papa on the phone tonight. He passed along this quote: "Change is inevitable, but growth is optional." Life throws a lot of crazy things our way, especially at this age when I am trying to figure out who I am, who I want to be, etc. You cannot plan people into your life because, for better or worse, they always show up to the occasion in a different way than you had expected. The unexpected is challenging but offers great opportunity for growth.
On an entirely different note, I have been reading FOR FUN lately and am loving it. Just read On Beauty by Zadie Smith and am now rereading a favorite, Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. Genius. Haven't decided what I'll read next. Probably a collection of essays by Natalia Ginzburg, fabulous Italian author.
Sunday night is perhaps the most melancholy time of the week. Another 5 days of work lay ahead--and one great big Microeconomics exam this Wednesday.
Bring on the unexpected!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
"Life Plans"
First Grade: Rainforest Specialist
Second Grade: Chemist
Fourth Grade: Author
Sixth Grade: Broadcast Journalist
Tenth Grade: Translator
Eleventh Grade: Politician, Anthropologist
Twelfth Grade: High School Teacher, Physicist
First Year: Diplomat, Theologian, Chef
Sophomore Year: International Market Analyst, Professor, CEO
Since a very young age I have been planning my life. College, grad school, summers in between, career, Ph.D., restaurants I shall own, investments I shall make, instruments I shall take, number of children I shall have, martial arts I shall learn, or books I shall write, etc. I love to dream about 12 years ahead of the present. I relish in the future, often more than I relish in the present moment.
Lately, and through various influences, I have come to realize that all of these plans I spend hours crafting aren't real, or tangible; they do not talk, they do not care about me, do not know how to have deep conversations, do not give hugs or kisses, do not give advice, do not have a personality. They exist as static frequencies in the blurry years ahead of today. Yet, so often, these plans take the place of close friends and companions. Often I would rather sit in my room with my papers and charts, planning the next few years ahead only to replan those years weeks later, and again weeks later, and again. My friends know that I have a new "life plan" every week.
I do not want to or intend to abandon any of my grand ambitions for the future, but these things will come with time. Opportunities will present themselves, others I will have to seek out when the time comes. But for now I want to devote myself to the PEOPLE around me. I want to be nourished by company--no matter how simple. I also need to focus on the part of my plans that exists in the present, namely, my studies. I will never get to Columbia or LSE if I don't kick ass this semester. Grad school is at least 3 years in the future. Friends and family are RIGHT NOW. I don't have to wait around for them to "happen". Moreover, how am I supposed to know what I want to do with my life if I keep cloistering myself and planning a little microcosm of a life for myself, expecting the perfect people to walk in at the perfect time and fill their designated roles: employer, advisor, partner, etc. Experience has taught me that nothing--especially relationships--play out in the way you had expected. Only time shall tell what degrees I earn, which career I pursue, etc. To the contrary, my actions now are what determines who will support me and surround me in the years ahead.
Who knows WHAT I'll be when I grow up. I wish people asked WHO do you want to be when you grow up? A better version of myself, of Anna, who just happens to be a market analyst, diplomat, author, professor, mother, et. al. No matter what I am when I grow up, I hope to be more fully whom God intended me to be.
"Who we are is God's gift to us. Who we become is our gift to God." -unknown
Second Grade: Chemist
Fourth Grade: Author
Sixth Grade: Broadcast Journalist
Tenth Grade: Translator
Eleventh Grade: Politician, Anthropologist
Twelfth Grade: High School Teacher, Physicist
First Year: Diplomat, Theologian, Chef
Sophomore Year: International Market Analyst, Professor, CEO
Since a very young age I have been planning my life. College, grad school, summers in between, career, Ph.D., restaurants I shall own, investments I shall make, instruments I shall take, number of children I shall have, martial arts I shall learn, or books I shall write, etc. I love to dream about 12 years ahead of the present. I relish in the future, often more than I relish in the present moment.
Lately, and through various influences, I have come to realize that all of these plans I spend hours crafting aren't real, or tangible; they do not talk, they do not care about me, do not know how to have deep conversations, do not give hugs or kisses, do not give advice, do not have a personality. They exist as static frequencies in the blurry years ahead of today. Yet, so often, these plans take the place of close friends and companions. Often I would rather sit in my room with my papers and charts, planning the next few years ahead only to replan those years weeks later, and again weeks later, and again. My friends know that I have a new "life plan" every week.
I do not want to or intend to abandon any of my grand ambitions for the future, but these things will come with time. Opportunities will present themselves, others I will have to seek out when the time comes. But for now I want to devote myself to the PEOPLE around me. I want to be nourished by company--no matter how simple. I also need to focus on the part of my plans that exists in the present, namely, my studies. I will never get to Columbia or LSE if I don't kick ass this semester. Grad school is at least 3 years in the future. Friends and family are RIGHT NOW. I don't have to wait around for them to "happen". Moreover, how am I supposed to know what I want to do with my life if I keep cloistering myself and planning a little microcosm of a life for myself, expecting the perfect people to walk in at the perfect time and fill their designated roles: employer, advisor, partner, etc. Experience has taught me that nothing--especially relationships--play out in the way you had expected. Only time shall tell what degrees I earn, which career I pursue, etc. To the contrary, my actions now are what determines who will support me and surround me in the years ahead.
Who knows WHAT I'll be when I grow up. I wish people asked WHO do you want to be when you grow up? A better version of myself, of Anna, who just happens to be a market analyst, diplomat, author, professor, mother, et. al. No matter what I am when I grow up, I hope to be more fully whom God intended me to be.
"Who we are is God's gift to us. Who we become is our gift to God." -unknown
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Jugo de coco asado
In August I will depart for Vina del Mar, Chile where I will live and study for approximately 4.5 months. This trip hasn't quite become a reality yet. While in Chile I will be attending classes at Universidad Adolfo Ibanez and acting as the finance coordinator y economista for a microlending project created by one of my classmates during her time in Chile last semester. My dear friend Tiffany will be la sociologista and official people person for the project and my travel companion--we hope to visit Argentina and Machu Picchu. I will be living in South America for an entire semester and then some!!
I've been out of the country only two times in my life. The first was a weekend trip to Winnipeg for an Ultimate Frisbee tournament, but I don't really count Canada as "abroad". The second was a 3 week journey through northern Spain. I spent 5 days in Madrid and backpacked the last 150 miles of el Camino de Santiago de Compostela, the Way of Saint James, an ancient Christian pilgrimage route which begins, at its farthest point, in Paris (many pilgrims begin their journey from various part of France), and winds its way over the Pyrenees into Spain, crossing the northern part of the country into the region of Galicia, where we began our journey.
I prepared myself spiritually and physically for our pilgrimage in the months leading up to our June 2005 departure.
Travel as a pilgrimage has an entirely different essence than tourism or vacation. As a pilgrim you reflect upon an intended arrival at both a physical and spiritual location. Our final destination would be the Catedral de Santiago de Compostela where, it is said, rest the bones of Saint James the Apostle. As trips always do, this journey turned out to be a distinctly different experience than what I had expected and planned for.
Nearly 3 years later I have not fully processed my pilgrim journey. Over the trip I kept a journal, snapped photos, shared stories, and sang...boy, did we SING! Broadway show tunes, African spirituals, Avril Lavigne, seriously. Now, as I stand months away from my next pilgrimage, I think it would be beneficial to reflect upon my first journey abroad in preparation for my next much longer one.
Prepare for the history of Santiago de Compostela, el Camino de Santiago y la region de Galicia, Espana, as well as an account of mi viaje de peregrino en 2005, in Spanglish, because you cannot live a journey in one language and express it adequately in otra.
Buen camino.
I've been out of the country only two times in my life. The first was a weekend trip to Winnipeg for an Ultimate Frisbee tournament, but I don't really count Canada as "abroad". The second was a 3 week journey through northern Spain. I spent 5 days in Madrid and backpacked the last 150 miles of el Camino de Santiago de Compostela, the Way of Saint James, an ancient Christian pilgrimage route which begins, at its farthest point, in Paris (many pilgrims begin their journey from various part of France), and winds its way over the Pyrenees into Spain, crossing the northern part of the country into the region of Galicia, where we began our journey.
I prepared myself spiritually and physically for our pilgrimage in the months leading up to our June 2005 departure.
Travel as a pilgrimage has an entirely different essence than tourism or vacation. As a pilgrim you reflect upon an intended arrival at both a physical and spiritual location. Our final destination would be the Catedral de Santiago de Compostela where, it is said, rest the bones of Saint James the Apostle. As trips always do, this journey turned out to be a distinctly different experience than what I had expected and planned for.
Nearly 3 years later I have not fully processed my pilgrim journey. Over the trip I kept a journal, snapped photos, shared stories, and sang...boy, did we SING! Broadway show tunes, African spirituals, Avril Lavigne, seriously. Now, as I stand months away from my next pilgrimage, I think it would be beneficial to reflect upon my first journey abroad in preparation for my next much longer one.
Prepare for the history of Santiago de Compostela, el Camino de Santiago y la region de Galicia, Espana, as well as an account of mi viaje de peregrino en 2005, in Spanglish, because you cannot live a journey in one language and express it adequately in otra.
Buen camino.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
in the beginning...
This blog starts as auspiciously as any--in an hour or two or three when I am supposed to be doing homework. But I figure it's about time I get my humble sentiments out here into Cyberspace along with the masses. Perhaps we desire to preserve ourselves in periodic digital mutterings for posterity's sake, perhaps because we are full of ourselves. Either way, I'm joining the debauchery.
I've been paying attention lately...which has revealed many a harrowing detail of the state of this fine Union. An attempt at description won't convey these revelations, as they are truths we must each discover for ourselves. I recommend watching http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/. Two hours later...you'll know where my brain is right now. It is thus that I pose a question (to myself, to you the unlikely visitor, to Cyberspace):
What is truth? What is Truth? How do you distinguish between the two?
I've been paying attention lately...which has revealed many a harrowing detail of the state of this fine Union. An attempt at description won't convey these revelations, as they are truths we must each discover for ourselves. I recommend watching http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/. Two hours later...you'll know where my brain is right now. It is thus that I pose a question (to myself, to you the unlikely visitor, to Cyberspace):
What is truth? What is Truth? How do you distinguish between the two?
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